Audacious plans for London’s "Trump-falgar Square"

Whitehall officials have accidentally leaked audacious plans to drive through the conversion of Trafalgar Square into a deluxe golf course in time for the state visit of President Trump.

Plans show the modification of Trafalgar Square, first built in 1840, into the ultimate corporate entertainment venue to allow President Trump to indulge his passion for the sport that dates back to 1574. The announcement, of what has been dubbed “Trumpfalgar Square”, is still a fairway off but has caused outrage amongst Londoners who were planning to use the square for a protest during his already controversial state visit, they are said to be decidedly teed off.


Time pressures of the visit to Downing Street and Buckingham Palace mean that Mr Trump will not have space in his schedule to visit any out of town golf courses but Whitehall officials were keen to swing some deals and to enforce the special relationship by converting the historic landmark.  The four hole “pigeon n putt” course takes design cues from Mr Trump's architectural projects in the U.S. Features will include American branding, 12ft high gold busts of Mr Trump, water hazards, bunkers and deluxe coal-powered golf carts to whisk Mr Trump up the Mall.  During the visit Mr Trump is expected to take on the Queen and Prince Phillip as well as Theresa May. Mrs May, a keen golfer is understood to be undergoing intense training to ensure she beats Mr Trump in a show of strength of her leadership.  Mr Trump has been secretly working hard on his Putin.

The plans were leaked to architectural visualisers DJS CGI and they worked with award-winning aerial photographer Jason Hawkes to illustrate the outrageous plans to the public.

Gregg Stone of DJS said: “We were passed the plans by an insider and we could not believe what we were seeing, this is an internationally important site of huge historical significance, we felt we had to show the world what they are planning.”.  Jason Hawkes was quoted as saying: “I have photographed all of London’s landmarks and I really feel this will drive a wedge between the government and the public”, he added, “The fourth hole looks a little tricky and could put the cat amongst the pigeons if the scores are tight”.

Whitehall appears to have bunkered down when approached for comment, but will be hoping the grass is Greener on the other side of the state visit, while the Iron Lady mark two will certainly be seeking a Fair Way to trade with the US following the triggering of Article 50. 

This scandal is considered to be on Par with that of Mr Trump's Russian Links with both political leaders on the Verge of public backlash. Mrs May will be looking to take a Grip of the situation as we approach the visit but it will surely take a Stroke of publicity genius to get out of the Woods on this.


Gregg StoneComment